How to Take Charge in the Bedroom For Dummies……I Mean Ladies

Well fans, it’s been way too long and for that, I apologize.  Since we last spoke, I’ve had a few female friends inquire about what men like in bed….not like I can speak for all men, but I’m a guy so I put in my 2 cents….which lead to a blog post.

Twerk Team


Ladies, this is going to be easy and fun for you. So much fun. Like anything worth doing, it may take a little work, but less than you’d expect. Taking control sexually doesn’t necessarily have to involve handcuffs, blindfolds, ropes or imperative phrases like “you’ve been a naughty shade-tree mechanic!” There are subtler and much more effective ways to take control in the bedroom.

1. Be a tease

Teasing can be a form of domination, stimulating different erogenous zones, without giving in to the actual acts gives you all the cards in the sexual deck. Playing with expectations, physical and otherwise, puts you right in the driver’s seat.

2. Be a nudist
One of my old friends put it best, “Never be scared to just rip all your clothes off as soon as you get in the door.” Nothing says “I’m calling the shots,” like deciding when, where, and how it’s going to happen.

3. Be on top
Seems obvious, but there’s different ways to get on top. You could just be there, kneeling, while he does that funny-looking-but-effective hip-thrust-from-below thing, or you could actually take control up there. Be a real cowboy as opposed to a tourist at a dude ranch…that’s so Texas aint it?

4. Be restrictive
You can use ropes (I know someone who keeps silk ties in a drawer next to her bed), or cuffs, or whatever you can find, but you don’t really need any of that stuff. You can just keep him from putting his hands anywhere, no restraining devices necessary.

5. Be inventive
Be the one to initiate different positions. Even if he’s the one doing the work, tell him how to take you, where to put his hands, how fast or slow—like a drill instructor, but without all the anger issues and hazing.

6. Be a geography major
Initiating sex, or just random makeout sessions, in new places is another way for you to be in charge. The grocery store may not be the sexiest place on the planet, but a carefully placed stroke or kiss can let him know that you’re the one who decides when it’s sexy time.

7. Be blunt
Like so many other parts of relationships, communication is the key here. If you want to work on being in charge, work on being up front, and blunt. Stop asking, and start directing.

Do you like taking control in the bedroom? How do you do it?

Thanks for tuning in…..


5 thoughts on “How to Take Charge in the Bedroom For Dummies……I Mean Ladies

  1. neckties though?! you know a gangsta.

    also, it’s really sad you’re giving out all this free advice. lucky guys out there should be sending you bottles of Henn for this. lol.

  2. Location, location, location! Amazing how change.of venue can take things up a notch. My philosophy is there should be almost no limits when it.comes to wrinkling sheets! Lol

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