Ladies and gents, I’m back. “Did ya miss me?” in my Varnell voice. I’ve been writing with a coalition of talented writers over at The Writerz Block (shameless plug). But I was starting to feel like I abandoned my own fans in the process. I apologize for being an ass. Speaking of ass, that’s going to be the subject of this blog, but more specifically fake ones.
So now that I have your attention, I’m here to tell you all why I’m NOT a fan of the buttocks injections, either implants or fat injections. I’m against it because it is still surgery nonetheless which means that there is a slim chance of complications as well as the fact that there aren’t any type of regulations in the U.S. regarding it.
You Could DIE, No Really –
In Hackney, East London, where Claudia Aderotimi was born, butt injections are illegal. They’re illegal in the U.S. too, but authorities here have done nothing to stop the unlicensed, dangerous practice. Claudia, a 20 year old British student, and her friends thought it would be a simple procedure. What could go wrong? The “clinic” was in the shadow of a big city hospital — the same hospital where she was eventually pronounced dead. Like most young black women today, Claudia’s self-worth and identity are defined by a big butt and breast implants. They don’t know any better because their idols don’t know any better. It’s a vicious cycle. Maybe Congress will take a break from following steroids in professional athletes and take some action to put a stop to this hydrogel epidemic that is killing our beautiful black women and turning them into deformed walking mannequins.
But I Can’t Lie to You –
I look at implants of any kind as “false advertisement”. While not as blatant as some of the lies men have told, excluding myself of course, it’s a little white lie (no pun intended…well yes it was) nonetheless. I feel that if she’s lying about the real her by getting implants, if I’m dating her, I should be able to lie to her as I see fit, even if I’m not dating her. Like if a sexy lady with implants peeps me on the street and asks me, “Sir, do you have the time?” I should be able to look at my watch and reply, “No, I don’t.” If the lady is going to portray something that she isn’t, then I should be allowed to lie back…that’s all I’m saying. But it goes against my religious beliefs to lie on “The D”, it also goes against plenty of guy code rules, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog, so for now I’m stuck telling the truth.
They Wanna Be Us –
Now this section may get some odd reviews because it’s about to stereotypical up in here. So the black fake Barbies of the world trying to be Nikki Menage Trois are getting butt injections to ADD to their current curves, even if they’re not a necessity. The crazy part is the amount of non-black women partaking in this craze. At one time, a white girl with a lot of ass was a gift from God so to speak. Now they’re everywhere out there shaking like booty-meat. So follow me now, you have black girls getting even bigger butts and now the non-black girls getting normal black girl butts. Crazy huh? I know.
Another Rich Surgeon –
I’ve seen the entire Nip/Tuck series, so I know everything there is to know about plastic surgery. That’s the problem with the current butt injection epidemic. Girls that don’t have the cash to drop on a new ass are going to these make-shift “clinics” and putting their life in danger just to make their booty clap like their cousins. Ladies, if you’re going to do any type of implants, use a licensed physician please. I’d rather another surgeon gets rich off your ass, literally, than you end up another Claudia Aderotimi, may she rest in peace.
So I know this blog will go unheard by the ones that need to read it, I’m just saying if you’re gonna do it, make sure you do it right. Typically it will cost more, but it could possibly save your life ladies. I’m actually want the doctors to start putting their stamp on their products, so regular guys can check under a tit or butt cheek to see if it’s authentic or not! And on that note, I’m out!
Thanks for tuning in….